Pilot

Pilot is the first episode of House of Noobs.

Quotes

 * Marcella: "Okay, everyone, I gathered this meeting because I want to know why you guys all hate me because it's kind of annoying. So Miles, can you go first?"
 * Miles: "Well, I think I'm speaking for everyone in this room when I say this...you're fat, you're ugly, you're stupid-- you guys agree, right?"
 * Gully: "And she smells."
 * Miles: "Really bad."
 * Gully: "Really bad."
 * Stephanie: "I don't think she's stupid."
 * Marcella: "I don't think I smell."
 * Gully: "She smells like...poop."
 * Birdie: "You gotta change your diaper next week."
 * Stephanie: "I just think she's a little selfish and self-centered."
 * Gerald: "You're salty."
 * Orville: "You've got a big refrigerator."
 * Fern: "I think pretty much everyone has summed it up."
 * Marcella (sarcastically): "Well, uh, that's great."
 * Gully: "Where's the drama?"
 * Fern: "Is that what you wanted to hear?"
 * Marcella: "Well, I'm just gonna go now."
 * Miles: "You should!"
 * Marcella: "Cause I'm a loner!"
 * Miles: "Yes, you are."
 * Gully: "Yeah you are! When you smell like that you've gotta be a loner."

Profanity
This section is used as a parent's guide and will include all minor and major profanities fromt the episode.
 * Minor Profanity: Five instances of the word "stupid", 2 instances of the phrase "shut up", 2 instances of "Oh my God", the words "fat", "ugly", and "smelly" are used to describe someone, and the word "poop" is said.
 * Major Profanity: Marcella says "what the hell", "Jesus Christ", "fricking", and calls three boys gay.
 * There is also a fight scene between Marcella and Stephanie.