House of Noobs

House of Noobs is a reality show formed by Felix Patterson about eight contestants, Miles Frederickson, Marcella Smith, Fern and Gully Kleenex, Gerald Peterson, Webster "Birdie" Bird, Stephanie White, and Orville Flatts, living together trying to cope with one another's ridiculousness and petty problems.

List of Episodes

 * 1) Pilot- Eight contestants, Miles, Marcella, Fern, Gully, Gerald, Webster "Birdie", Stephanie, and Orville, are introduced. The contestants have a quick problem with Marcella, who is an ignorant, self-centered, pessimistic egomaniac who is mean and annoyed by the contestants. She gets in petty arguments with Fern and Stephanie and makes fun of the boys, Miles and Gully especially. She freaks out and has a tantrum, and later comes down to apologize. Miles is quick to ostracize Marcella, and the gang follows. Marcella cries, and decides she wants to know what everyone thinks of her in a group meeting. After being called stupid, fat, ugly, smelly, self-centered, selfish, salty, and others, Marcella runs up the stairs into her room. Marcella relapses and runs downstairs and punches Stephanie in the face. As she is running back into her room, Stephanie charges at her and the two start fighting. When Gully and Miles seperate the two, it is obvious Stephanie is winning.
 * 2) Post-Relapse- The housemates are greeted by producers Sidney Barlow and Heidi Eric, as well as Felix Patterson, and are told that not only is Gerald sick, but Marcella was suspended for a week for hitting Stephanie. Stephanie and Miles are of course overjoyed by this and rejoice. Gully, Fern, Orville, and Birdie also show animosity towards Marcella and have a conversation about her. The housemates also learned that later that week Marcella would be on the phone with the house so that she could be apart of the episode. Before the call, Stephanie mentions that her and Orville have somewhat of a romance going on, as they were both divorced and are past their time. Felix later gets Marcella on the phone, and rather than trying to be nice, Marcella continues her social relapse and starts spewing insults. While she doesn't bitterness towards Orville, Gerald, or Birdie, she calls Fern and Gully potheads, Miles scornful, and Stephanie bellicose, and that she was suffocating her and that she could've died. Stephanie and Miles retaliate and Felix ends the phone call. The episode concludes with Miles and Stephanie, seemingly in an alliance, discussing Marcella's nonsense.
 * 3) Reconciliation- Marcella is still suspended and the housemates have a contest to find out what four people have to transition with carrying around a speaker phone with her on the line. The housemates were looking to guess the most unattractive masculine name in Felix's opinion, and Gerald won when he guessed "Keith". He decided that Birdie and Orville were his closest friends, leaving Gully, Fern, Stephanie, and Miles left to suffer through Marcella's audacity. Stephanie is the first to take the phone and seperates from her peers, claiming that they didn't want to abide the awkwardness. Stephanie suggests to Marcella when they are alone that they should team up and wreak havoc upon their housemates, to which Marcella agrees with. She claims that she wasn't as much of a drama queen as she seemed and that she was acting. She also apologized for the punch. The two decided that they would at first pretend like they still hate eachother, but later make their alliance public. Stephanie's only problem was with Orville, and she didn't want him to think she was a jerk. Marcella allowed her to let Orville into the plan. Fern came in ready to take her shift and Stephanie did less-than-perfect acting to make it seem as if they are still feuding. It later shows Marcella and Miles on the phone together repeatedly insulting each other. It then shows Stephanie discussing her plan with Orville, claiming that her maliciousness would be faux. Orville says it is fine, claiming that everyone are jerks anyways. The episode ends with Miles entering with Marcella on the line asking one of them to take it, claiming that he had had enough of her bull-crap.
 * 4) Separation- Marcella returns from her suspension only to find that competitions are starting. In the first ever Head of Household, Fern pulls through and becomes H.O.H., much to Marcella's dismay. Gerald wins a final 3 pass in the competition. Fern puts up Marcella and Orville, the latter just out of lack of others to put up. In the Veto, Fern's boyfriend Gully pulls through and the nominations say the same. Marcella claims that the competition was fixed against her. However, she does convince Gully, Birdie, and Gerald to vote Orville out. Orville goes home, and Stephanie cries. As Orville leaves, Marcella says that she is glad he is gone, and Stephanie calls off their alliance.